Ok, this is not as ghetto as it sounds. Basically, i met this amazing girl one night playing pool. We really hit it off and we were together until last week about 2 and a half months. Everything was fabulous and we really clicked well. The dilemma is that she has a 2 year old daughter and she just broke up with the babies father 2 months before she met me. They have joint custody on a week by week basis so she obviously has to see him. I am a guy with no kids, 24, doin ok for myself. Anyhow, just to paint a picture, i guess she had moved into an efficiency to get away from her ex and try to start her new life without him when i first met her. They had been togather for three years and they have broke up like 4 times during the relationship already. So she told me she was ready to move on, so we became official. After that, we spent most of our time together when we weren't working, and i would keep her company as well on the weeks she had her daughter. I began staying the night at her house alot, and she also had her little brother staying with her who slept in the same living area as her, seeing how she was in an efficiency, it was just like a big living room. She finally upgraded to a different unit next door so we could have our own privacy, own room etc,. Well this place had some characters that lived there as well and they were all like drung attics and things, not so good of an atmosphere. Anyhow one day, i woke up and heard my girlfriend arguing with someone outside. It was one of the low lifes that lived there, and i guess he had been banging on her door while we were sleeping trying to look for her brother. Anyhow he got mouthy and i ran out cuz nobody is gonna talk to **** to my girl.....anyhow i confronted him, shouted something caveman at him and he walked away. Well, i had been fed up with the **** that she had to put up with living there as a mother just working to survive, so i thought what the hell, i was looking into renting out this nice house closer to my work anyhow, and my friend was kinda flaking who was gonna move in anyway, so i asked if she might be interested because she would save money on what she was paying at the roach motel anyhow, so i took her and her little brother to see the house. She was immediatly happy and things just went better from there. Here is where it gets weird. Everything is still going good and it was two days before we put the money up to move in. She came to see me at work like usual, and we went for lunch and just browsed some other places, but everything was as great as it always was. She mentioned something about her babies father hearing about her moving in with me and threatening to take her car away, which i guess was in his name, some 94 lexus, nothing special, paid off , but i guess he was the primary lean holder on the title. Well i have a truck and i wouldn't mind helping but of course i hope it wouldn't come to that, either way, nothing i couldn't handle. So that same day she takes me back to work after lunch, same old same, ';so your gonna come over after work and spend the night tonight right?'; Of course it was what the routine was lately so of course i said yes and i'll see you later. Well, i came over later on when she got home from work, and i could tell something was wrong she immediatley became someone different. She sat down said we needed to talk, and began to tell me that she needed some space and can't commit right now. I AM TELLING YOU THAT THINGS WERE GREAT BETWEEN US THIS WHOLE TIME. It was like unexpected, but i decided to give her a day or two, i hugged and kissed her then left. I didn't know this was the last time that i would see the girl. The next day her brother came up to my work with some of my stuff like my xbox and one of my shirts with a note from her. The note said she was totally into me and everything we had was true, but she is in conflict with herself and her life. It was like i'll miss you see you down the road type thing maybe. Anyhow, i was pretty upset and sad, but i gave her a couple days and went back to her place one night when i couldn't take it anymore. She was GONE. The property manager said she had moved out the night before with the help of her ex-boyfriend/babies dad. I finally got a call from her a couple days later and she had moved back with this guy out of nowhere! She stated her strong feelings for me, but she had to do what was best for her daughter right now, she said she may be making a mistake because of what we had, but she said she needed to at least give it one more try with 100 percent of her self, so if it didn't work out she could of least said she tried her best. She is 23, very beautiful, she had explained when i first met her that she didn't even want to have the kid in the first place but she was down in florida all by herself, and she was from ohio. She said the only thing close to family down here was her ex's family and they were all convincing her to have the kid and telling her how bad she would be if she wouldn't. I believe that the ex and his family have alot to do as far a brainwashing this girl. The guy is like 30, i mean common, what are trying to seal your future by getting a beautiful girl pregnant when she isn't even sure. Way to care about someones life. Anyhow, i may sound crazy, but it was just so real that i can't help but be hurt and want to fight for this girl, but i don't want to hurt her situation. It was just so sudden and i haven't had feelings for another girl since my last relationship which was over a year and a half ago. What would you do? What should i do?What do i do about my ex-girlfriend moving back with her babies' daddy?
WAY TOO LONG to read, dude!What do i do about my ex-girlfriend moving back with her babies' daddy?
I actually took the time to read your question. Alot of guys don't take the time to explain properly and you sure did. LOL Well, this is my opinion based on what you wrote...I think that from your perspective you saw a beautiful girl who was potentially a great girlfriend. I think you went into the situation/relationship with a clean slate and a willingness to have a genuine relationship. Though, this is imperative and important to have in any relationship, alot of people don't actually have these attributes. You have to remember that she came out of a relationship and so she did have a lot of things going on in her life that you may not have been exposed to. I think that you must not have been aware of what was still going on between them. They obviously were having problems and those problems carried on. She just did not involve you in them. I know you had to have an idea because you stated that they had to see eachother at times. Someone that is fresh out of a relationship that involves a child is not always ready to start a new relationship right away. Just because she left in the way she did doesn't mean she is a bad person or a bad gf. It just means that this is not the right time. It may sound selfish on her behalf but, you should allow her to finish her unfinished business with the baby's father. Some women need that kind of closure. Then IF she does come around again, you will have every right to put your foot down and demand that she makes up her mind once and for all. You will def. need to pay more attention to her relationship with the baby's father if she ever does come your way again. Just remember that those are life choices to her and it is very difficult to make a permanent decision like that. You have to keep that in mind and decide if you want to wait around for someone like that. At least you gave it your best shot. In the long run, your genuine efforts will not go unseen.
I didn't read all the details in your qn because I dont believe there is a need. When it comes to situations with ex-es, you should always remember. She is an ex for a reason. Why are you worried about what she is doing with HER life? Move on.
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